Two Plus Two Moderator Dinner–2006

2+2 Moderator Dinner

So I left off when we were leaving Bellagio for Mirage. On the way out, I saw David Sklansky in the sports book. I asked him if he was going to the moderator dinner. He shrugged and looked at the monitors. He said something about the ponies. I said, “David, it’s YOUR forum!” He said the games at Bellagio were awfully good. I said, “David, you have to go!” He asked, “YOU’RE a moderator? Where?” I rolled my eyes and told him. I told him we’re ALL socially awkward, he wasn’t any exception. We’re poker players!!! He said he would come over if the games weren’t good, if the ponies weren’t running, if hell froze over…something like that.

I’ve never cared for the Mirage. No change this time. I’ve only been twice since 2002, and both times due to 2+2 functions.

I spotted Ed Miller first, who looks no different than pre-SSHE Ed. Well, maybe his hair is shorter, no mo’ afro.

Dynasty came in not much later. He’s even quieter than he is on 2+2, and pretty much the same. Always looks disgusted, always looks put out. At least he’s genuine, unlike so many other online “personas,” harhar.

I spotted Matt a billion miles away, just circling and circling the poker room and outside pit, looking for something, never finding it. Beautiful girl on his arm. Of course I had to ask him later how much he paid for her.

Mason came along soon. Another beautiful girl, another conspiracy that I have yet to figure out. She claims that tennis brought them together, but I’m just certain there is a backstory, lol ;)

As we were about to hit the restaurant, David came sauntering in. He claimed he couldn’t stay, that the 300/600 was just too good. I said that if the game really WAS that good, he wouldn’t have left in the first place. I told him it was completely unfair that he was skipping out on my one opportunity to bore him to tears by grilling him on Stud. After all, Glenn has bugged Mason for the past three years on Draw, I should get my opportunity. Oh, well, there’s always Ray.

As we started towards the buffet, a guy from Glenn’s NLHE table came rushing up. He hadn’t said boo to either me or Glenn the entire time we were playing. I accused him of being either retarded or from Canada. He claimed neither.

We ran into Schneids (Mike Schneider) and his friend midway through our walk. Late, as usual. Must be gay. I said a few words to Mike, and somehow he sounded kind of Australian. Don’t know why, except that I’m a moron. So then I found out he is from Minnesota or something, so that makes sense…???!!!

Any time a guy has to bring along another guy friend, I just jump to the logical conclusion that he must be gay. Why? Because I’m stupid.

So we went marching through the VIP line, where I accused Mase of being cheap and having comps. I finally nailed him down to how many comps he had, and he reluctantly admitted four. Bingo, I knew it. Mase always chooses Mirage. It takes a cheap bastid to recognize another cheap baztad. Go Mason!

He did, however, insist on buying for both Glenn and Mikes gay friend, so kudos. Maybe he felt that not as many moderators showed up as he was expecting, so he still got a good deal.

Mirage totally remodeled their buffet from the last time I was there (maybe the 1900’s). Although it looks nicer, getting to all of the stations is a real hike.

Matt, however, was up to the challenge! I’ve never seen someone my age so hyperactive. Usually by the time hyperactive people reach their thirties or forties they seem to slow down. Not Matt. He never sat still for a second.

We sat at a table with Matt, Matt’s beautiful girlfriend and Dynasty. Dynasty left us as soon as humanly possible and went to sit next to Ed and the young crowd.

I found out that Matt is my Internet stalker. It started when he said that I’d posted something on my journal about him a few years ago. I denied it at first, because I don’t remember anything like that. But then I remembered that I got that free lobotomy via chemotherapy, and that my memory had been wiped virtually clean. So I stopped protesting so vehemently.

Then Matt starts admitting that he’s read all of these other posts that I’ve made. Posts on 2+2 and on my journal. And I’m teasing him and calling him my stalker. I always thought that was V’s job, but here Matt was reading my stuff all along, while V— probably couldn’t give a crap.

Once I started teasing Matt, he was squirming more and more. I even got him blushing pretty deeply one time. Bingo! Once I sense a weakness I have to exploit it. I kept messing with him during the whole dinner and afterwards.

Matt was interested in gelato. But he was too hyperactive to wait for the server. So he kept walking the whole of the buffet, over and over again, waiting for a time for the machine to be completely empty. He never got his gelato. He did, however, start over again about an hour after everyone else finished eating. He must have walked that buffet 20x in two hours. Probably partially to get away from ME. And who could blame him???

Yes, I liked Matt the best of all the new people I met. Yes, I’m sure he hates me, who wouldn’t? I totally had to rip on him, I couldn’t seem to help myself. Once he exposed his soft underbelly, I just went for the kill.

I tried to get him to go along with some kind of big scam on 2+2. I would get in a public fight with him, he would ban me, he would take away my mod privleges, chaos would ensue. Okay, no chaos, like anyone cares about me or the Omaha forums, right?

Anyway, towards the end almost everyone defected over to the popular Ed table. Ed is really good at that, he can engage people well, and for a long time. Matt finally had enough of me and left, probably much to his relief.

Mason’s wife wasn’t interested in the Ed table, so we stayed to talk to her. She and Glenn got into a tennis conversation, and I took a quick nap. Naw, seriously, she was wonderful. Engaging and beautiful. I told Mason he got really, really lucky. He agreed.

Finally we wrapped it up. I tried to corner Dynasty again, but he wouldn’t bite, and so I gave up.

Glenn and I had a great time, and I love being around 2+2er’s and torturing them to death.

Felicia :)

About Felicia Lee

Poker, Writing
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